Funniest of the Week.

This week I have come across some funny things on YouTube, other blogs and websites. Here are the 5 Funniest of the Week....

5. The YouTube Hall of Fame - Bill Simmons. for those who are Bostonians or ESPN junkies you know the name Bill Simmons. Every week he has an article he writes for ESPN.com. Usually they are very funny and quotable. This week he has a classic "list" article where he shares his favorite clips from YouTube. Some of my favorites: Bo Jackson's documentary on who? Himself. Classic Bo highlights. Bo knows...Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson's song "Whatzupwitu". This is awful, just awful. I have never seen this before and I laughed all 30 seconds of it I watched. If you can watch the whole thing, please let me know so I can congratulate you. There are others, indulge and laugh to your hearts content.
4. middle of the night - Sean Michael Murphy. One of the blogs I check often, usually has some very subtle humor. I had to read this a few times and put myself in SMM's place. Are there some nights you just can't sleep?
3. Why are people dumb? - Mike L. Anyone that shares "the other day I learned from an intelligent commenter that the pharmaceutical companies were behind the Purpose Driven Life deception" in a post is just hilarious. Michael shares from his depths and has me rolling doing so. It was one of those posts I wish I had written.
2. I was robbed by 2 men - Transition Pete. Penny and I watched this like 5 times in a row and it is an "in house" joke with us. I really hope that this is not real. If it is I'm sure it will give the exercise clubs a run for their money.
1. Limbaugh detained for drugs at airport. - CBS. I haven't listened to Rush since the last election and I probably wont listen to him again until the next election but come on. I knew that the guy was a magnet for controversy but is this really? We are talking about the same pill that I get discount e-mails about all of the time (like 10 a day, at least). I was laughing so hard (no pun intended) because the guy is now divorced (again) and he is always touting family values. I don't want to go too far with this, but you know what I'm saying.

The Great Experiment.

On Monday June 26, 2006 Penny and I made the break from TV. I know this is a very traumatic event for us, but I believe it's a good thing. It's kind of an internet TV/time stewardship experiment. We want to maximize our time together, save money and give God the first fruits of our time. So no more more turning on the tube, flipping through the channels just to watch "The 5 Best Waterparks in America" on the Travel Channel or reruns of King of the Hill on FX (all the episodes of which I have seen like 5 times). We will watch only that which is available for free on the web (not really free, considering I pay $44 a month for service). A few things I have noticed right off the bat:
1. Its awfully quiet in the house. Without our boob-tube running all of the time its like the crickets chirping. Our neighborhood is very quiet. Never really noticed that before.
2. Me and Penny talk more. After just one day I have noticed that I talk to my wife a lot more than I did in the TV days. It's pretty cool just having a nice conversation with Penny about whatever comes to mind. I really don't think that its going to hurt our relationship, at all. I hope this isn't a surprise.
3. My dog follows me around more. Let me introduce you to my dog, Grommit. He is amazing. Sharp as a tack. He realizes that we aren't so preoccupied by that big box in the middle of the big room he likes to hang out in. His response to this experiment has been, he is going where we go (the kitchen, bedroom, office). He's more active, since we aren't sitting down on that soft thing where he used to lay down next to us.
I will keep you updated on our experiment. For now, I kinda of like the quiet and conversation.

If You Have A Question....Ask A Ninja!

Today I was introduced to one of the most practical web sites known to man. I'm afraid my life will never be the same as I have been overtaken by the wisdom of a ninja. Have you have thought about the affect ninjas have on our culture? "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", "Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles", "Power Rangers", Steven Seagal (ninja wanna-be), Wesley Snipes (ninja), Chris Farley (Beverly Hills Ninja) and on and on.......This video encapsulates the wisdom of ninjas. Please take time to be thoroughly impressed by the wisdom of the ninja. Your life will be forever better because of the ninja.

Miami Heat Parade.

Myself and a few friends took a ride south into Wade County to experience the Championship Parade for the Heat. It was just that, an experience that I will never participate in again. Not only did I learn that South Florida mass transit is to be desired, but I also learned that having a parade in the middle of ta 90 degree summer day is a bad idea. Real bad. I got burned (even with SPF 45 on), saw irritable women go at each other while in line for the rail (yes, a fight!) and dealt with a monstrous crowd that was trying to get a glimpse of Shaq and D-Wade. I decided that I will never go to another one of these events, ever.

Cool Christians.

Today I received in the mail the latest "Relevant" magazine. It has all of these really "cool" ads and pithy articles. A bunch of "bands that are Christians but not a Christian band" ads are in there too. It's the super hip magazine of the day for relevant Christians, hence the name "Relevant".
REWIND: Oh, about two years ago a friend of mine told me about this magazine that was good and it wasn't cheesey. So I investigated and subscribed. For the first year I really dug the good articles and it seemed to be a real authentic periodical. Recently I have noticed an alarming trend, not just in the magazine but in many facets of Christian culture, everyone is trying to outdo the other in coolness or relevance or whatever. Whether its pastors saying "this is what WE do.." or magazines featuring almost-Christians that can really "relate" to us or even bands that are "Christians but not a Christian band". I'm really bugged by this and sometimes I fall prey to this cool-competition that is so part of Christianity.
REWIND MORE: 5 years ago this guy I know was making slick flyers, I thought they were "cool" so I had him make some for our college ministry at church. They were a hit and everyone was all about them. I felt "cool", kind of ahead of the game if you know what I mean. People would call me from much bigger ministries and ask "where did you get those flyers made? That's a great idea to promote the ministry that way....blah, blah, blah". Now most ministries have their promotions on slicks and it's the norm. My gut says "what's next?" My heart says "who cares!" the Spirit says "does it matter?".
TODAY: I guess I have just come to realize the fact that I'm not relevant and definitely not cool. To be honest, I really don't think it matters. Do you?

Dwyane Wade again, proved me right. He had another legendary game tonight and brought home not only the World Championship but the NBA Finals MVP. I can't wait for the the ticker tape parade, I will be there and post pictures.

Bad Jobs.

I was watching this show about the worlds worst jobs and one was this Icelandic fisherman deal. I couldn't believe the lives these guys live. On 13 days, off 3. They work 6 hour shifts and off 6 hours, and every week each guy must work a double. Its nuts! It got me to thinking about my experiences in the work place. I have had many different jobs in my almost 34 years. My current "job" is by far the best and most rewarding (I'm in ministry). What did I do before? Well, here is an exhaustive list of my different jobs from best to worst...

Camp Maintenance Guy - for 2 summers ('88-'89) I was incredibly under-paid but very satisfied. I met people from all over the country and experienced summer camp for 10 weeks of the summer, and I was (under)paid, beautiful.
Golf Course Maintenance - what I like best about this gig was the literal beauty of the golf course. I had to be at the "office" by 6 am and I was given the bottom feeder stuff to do. I was a real bad employee in that I was super slow (lazy) and really young (19). I got fired after I caught an area of the rough on fire. That too, was beautiful.
Forklift Driver - this is what I would call "Costco Seminary". This is where I grew up and learned what it meant to be hard worker. Often times I had to be at work at 4-5 am. This is where I decided I would obey the call of God on my life and abandon the desirable warehouse life.
Pizza Delivery Guy - I had 2 stints as a pizza delivery guy. First was at Pizza Hut and second was at some local joint. I kinda liked this because the pay was pretty good for a college kid, and I got to listen to the radio a lot. Gas was also a lot cheaper at this time (like .89 a gallon).
Deli Guy - for a few months I was a sandwich maker at Publix (a Florida grocery chain). The only good part of this job was the freebies we got. I also learned to use one of the deli-meat slicers.
Bag Boy - at the same Publix where I worked in the deli, I was a bag boy. This was dreadful. I really struggled with the old people asking for paper or plastic or telling me how to pack their groceries. Back in the day we had to "dress up" in these cheesy outfits. Pay stunk too.
Ditch Digger - need I say any more? I remember one time digging ditches from 7 am to 5 pm in the scortching Florida summer sun. I chose to take my shirt off that day. One of the worst decisions I have ever made in my life. I didn't go in the next day because my skin was pretty close to falling off.
Construction Cleanup Guy - in my mind right up there with the Icelandic fisherman job. This is where I learned every four letter word known to man. Honestly, I don't really want to discuss it any more, bad memories, really bad.

**So, what are some of the bad jobs you have had? Anyone work at a solid waste place?

What Defines a Legend.

Legend - A romanticized or popularized myth of modern times. One that inspires legends or achieves legendary fame. I believe sports fans all over the world are witnessing a legend in the making. A basketball player that will be talked about for years to come. One that will inspire others, one that achieves fame. What does it take for one to become a legend?
1. NBA Finals Performance - If a basketball player leads his team to victory in the NBA Finals for three straight games, averaging 40 points per game, this is stuff that legends are made of. In each of the three games (and he is not finished, count on one more massive game from this legend) our legend has thrown his team on his back and crossed the victory line. There are few players in NBA history that can claim this at this level of competition. Regular season, yes. NBA Finals, very, very few.
2. NBA Career - The same player has lead his team to regular season and playoff victories in throughout his short career, this is legendary. People will talk about it for years to come. The same player over his career has hit shots in the most crucial time to lead his team to victory, time and time and time again. It will be romanticized, popularized. His career thus far is representative of his performance in the NBA Finals, simply brilliant. The scary part is that this is just the beginning of a career that will go down in history.
3. The Man - In order to be an inspiration to future legends and further his influence as a legend he must have mass appeal. He must be liked as a person. He must be marketable. Done. We are talking about the man who is being publicized more than any other NBA player or sports figure right now. From "People Magazines 50 Most Beautiful People" to his Gatorade commercials to Converse commercials to the biggest selling NBA jersey. This is just the beginning. Keep your eyes peeled for many more legend sightings. Lines of clothing (no joke!), cologne (kinda weird, but yep.), mainstream television sightings and movies. This legend will now be the face of not just the NBA but professional athletes.

**We are watching a legend being made right before our eyes. This happens once a generation in certain sports. Other NBA legends Wilt, Kareem, Magic, Bird, Jordan, Shaq, . The current NBA legend-in-the-making, Dwyane Wade.

Last Home Game.

Tonight is the last home game of the season for the Miami Heat. The past two games have been the biggest, most important games in the history of the Heat. Tonight is no different. The Heat must win tonight in order to have a chance at the NBA Championship. Again, the only way the Heat will win is if Dwyane Wade has a legendary game, period.

Summer Fun.

We just took abunch of middle school students to the west coast of Florida for a mini-retreat. A week ago we had like 11 students signed and paid, causing for some frustration. We sent out postcards, left MySpace comments, made phone calls and announced the activity every time we could. Well, after the weekend we had a major influx of interest and ended up bring a total of 32. We left on Wednesday around noon (after picking up about 15 students in our Calvary Cruiser). We got to Bradenton a few hours later where a church hosted us for the evening. We brought our worship band (and sound equipment). Set everything up, hung out with a bunch of the kids from the hosting church and they showed us their student building (it was pretty cool!) We then had an incredible dinner prepared by some of the women of the host church, played a little more and had a worship service type deal. God moved in the hearts of some of our students and we ended up praying and counseling many of them the night through. We got up early had some homemade pancakes (yum!) then hopped in the bus and headed 45 miles north to Tampa to spend the day at Busch Gardens. It was a great time and really believe that the Lord did a cool thing in our ministry. A lot of the students that we are ministering to are high risk and have never really done the church thing before. It's an honor to be able to serve and love these students and I pray the Lord continues to reveal Himself to our students and that they would be used to do incredible things for Eternity.

Proven Right, Again.

Dwyane Wade had another legendary game last night in game 4 of the NBA Finals. His stats: 36 points, 6 rebounds, 3 assists. I wonder if he will continue to prove me right. We'll see on Sunday.

Proven Right.

Dwyane Wade scored 12 points in the final 6:15, rallying the Heat from a 13-point deficit as Miami beat Dallas 98-96. Wade had 42 points, 13 rebounds and 1 turnover. A legendary game. A legendary player. I'm proven right.

Wades World.

D-Wade has the potential to be an NBA legend. It can go from potential to arrival tonight and the next several days. This is the opportunity that all of the potential greats ever wished for. Dominique, Barkley, Malone, Stockton. All great Hall of Fame players, but no championship. This is the stage. The Finals. Wade has had a pretty good NBA Finals. He's averaging 25 points, 7 rebounds and 4.5 assists thus far. Not too shabby. Not legendary though. I would have to say I have noticed that he has become a little hesitant to really take a game over against Dallas. I truly believe he has Jordan-esque abilities when it comes to crunch time. I would love to see him prove me right tonight, game 3 of the NBA Finals. I really want to stop blaming the "role players" for not doing their thing and look right to the heart and soul of this Miami Heat team. Dwyane Wade is that. Three years in the league, three years deep into the playoffs. I believe he can and will lead the Heat to victory tonight. Please D-Wade, prove me right.

The Missing Sync.

As you know, about a month ago I purchased a Pocket PC phone (Cingular 8123). After thinking I was going to trade it in for a Blackberry I am finally very happy with this piece of electronics. For several weeks I was trying to sync my Google Calendar with my device via Outlook on my work computer. I became very frustrated once I realized there is no way you can subscribe to a Google Calendar through Outlook. It can only be done through a third party software. I learned the hard way that with a PC this can be a recipe for disaster. Needless to say I had it! So at this point I figured I would try a Mac friendly syncing software. I did a little research and decided I would try the Mark Space beta Missing Sync for Windows Mobile 5. I purchased it and unfortunately I was unable to get it working. A few days later I received an e-mail from Mark Space announcing that there was an update for the Missing Sync software I had purchased. I updated and tried it. What a beautiful thing! I was able to sync my iCal (Google Calendar synced), my Address Book, tasks and I was also able to put pictures, music and even videos on my device through a Bluetooth connection. I really cant wait until Mark Space updates the software for a final non-experimental version. If you have a Pocket PC, Blackberry or Palm and an Apple Computer I would encourage you at least consider trying the Misssing Sync. I think you would find it easy to use and very helpful for your scheduling productivity.

Crucial Game 2.

Tonight at 9 pm the Miami Heat face a huge game 2 against the Dallas Mavericks. I think you can stick a fork in Miami if they go down 2 games to 0. The key for the Heat tonight is the role players hitting open shots (like Antoine, GP and Jason Williams) and getting Shaq the ball. I think it will be interesting to see if Pat Riley takes my advice.

Saying Goodbye to DirectTV.

Penny and I decided about a month ago that we would be canceling our satellite TV subscription. We have the whole TiVo thing and the sports package, so this will be quite a big deal for us. We thought we could save a few bucks by eliminating $50+ per month and utilize the whole internet tv thing. Every show we watch is available on the web so we will try it out. It's kind of like we are an entertainment experiment. Has anyone tried this yet? How will it work? Will we be frusterated? I will report often.

Who is 1?

Tonight at 9 pm in Dallas, Texas the Miami Heat will face the Dallas Mavericks in game one of the NBA Finals. The big question is, who is number one? The Heat have possibly the best 1-2 punch in the NBA and Dallas may have the best basketball player on the planet. As a Miami Heat fan for many, many years, I have my hopes. This is a great opportunity to put the team with home-court advantage (Dallas) on their heels by beating them in game 1. We shall see.

E-Mail Hoaxes.

Over the past couple of weeks I have been getting this "Missing 13 Year Old" e-mail. I'm sure some of the readers of "Life & Times" have received this e-mail as well. The first time I received it was from an old friend who is really into the whole e-mail forward thing. Well, when I got it I went straight to this site to see if it had been reported as a hoax yet. Sure enough Ashley Flores right in the "What's New" section (also check out this article). Poor Ashley was a not abducted or anything like that, but she was the recipient of a massive prank pulled off by some of her friends in middle school. Do you ever wonder how many of the e-mail forwards you receive are bootleg? I'm willing to bet that 95% if not ALL of the "Attention", "Warning", "Amber Alert" or "Sign this petition" e-mails are straight up hoaxes. What e-mail hoax would you say is the most ridiculous? Any come to mind?

European Racism.

Most of the time when Americans talk about Europeans, we go on and on about their sophistication and more "evolved" way of life. They have the real football. We have a cheap imitation. They are more tolerant. We have a bunch of rednecks. Well after you watch this eye-opening expose by Jeremy Schapp you will probably appreciate the American way and MLK's dream.

NBA FINALS
Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks

Game 1 June 8 @ DAL 9:00

Game 2 June 11 @ DAL 9:00

Game 3 June 13 @ MIA 9:00

Game 4 June 15 @ MIA 9:00

Game 5* June 18 @ MIA 9:00

Game 6* June 20 @ DAL 9:00

Game 7* June 22 @ DAL 9:00

* - if necessary

Entertainment: Goodbye Detroit!

The Miami Heat just defeated the former Champion Detroit Pistons 95-78. Shaq dominated the whining, crying, fit-throwing Pistons and Dwyane Wade was sick as a dog (and he still had a nice little run in the third quarter). This is a great day in South Florida sports history. The NBA Finals begin next Thursday, June 8th. I will be ready sitting on my sectional in front of my 55 inch HDTV.
Go Heat!

Adoption: We Know More!

Well, we found out what region we'll be adopting from, it's Krasnoyarsk! As you can see on the map, it's quite far from Moscow, about 4 1/2 hrs by plane. After doing some research on the region, I found that it is known for it's multitude of..........fountains. For further information please check out our Goeppner Adoption Blog. I'll continue to update you as we get more details. Keep us in your prayers!